The Watcher of the Wood
The Watcher of the Wood
When I wake gasping,
crashing back through
time and space and glass
to waken into darkness,
into silence,
into breath –
thirsting, reach for water,
as if water could save me,
could melt the frozen stand,
burn the forest to its knees
and fight the voice that calls me,
ever downward,
into sleep.
I know that I have fooled the one
that marks the trees with blood;
that sightless, dead-eyed demon –
the Watcher of the Wood.
But as I move into the night, I find
a shadow binds its breath to mine;
frost now formed into a shade –
a Watcher in the Wall.
With rake of claw, it clings behind
and whispers in the dark;
a soundless fear,
a mouthless face,
an endless,
raging doubt:
If only I had found my feet.
If only I could fight.
The walls have teeth tonight.
The walls have teeth tonight.
liars in a mask –
I hate this hall of glass,
this endless, ruined rank,
naked and blinking,
imprisoned by light
in a place too tight for breathing,
our chest now sick of heaving,
the voice that lingers from a dream
now fails to force this frozen throat
to scream –
Am I the Watcher in the Wall?
this flightless, red-eyed demon
crashing back through
time and space and glass
to grasp this fractured face
and rasp:
run.
being sated
now with water,
I wander back
through wood and plaster,
to pass the doorway
leaving darker dreams
and phantom teeth
to chatter in the hall –
to where you lie asleep;
helpless paw and tired feet –
and sinking down into the moss I find
a world now warm with fin and wing,
a voice that grows now in the green
and echoes down into the deep:
I am the Watcher of the Wood.
And closing eyes to sea and sky,
the wind that haunts the tree:
your endless, rolling breath,
ever onward,
into sleep.
**Note: all poems are best viewed on desktop, laptop or tablet to preserve intended line breaks**
The Watcher of the Wood is a highly personal piece of writing. My wife, composer Sarah Rimkus, was commissioned to compose a new work for the 2023 season of the celebrated Canadian low voice ensemble Chor Leoni and their professional partner choir The Leonids. After deep discussions about possible subject material with director Erick Lichte, I was approached to write a text for the composition based on my experiences with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sarah and I were thrilled to join the commissioning ensembles in Vancouver, BC for the premiere of this piece in 2023 - an unforgettable experience and a moment of profound expression and catharsis for everyone involved.
